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Poor Robert's Almanac
 Being A Collection of Aphorisms
by Bobby Leeds

These aphorisms or "wise sayings" (Bobby's words) were collected from Bobby's journals and released to us by his family. It is believed that Bobby hoped to have these "wise sayings" published. "Much better than the trash that's out there," he said.

In the coming weeks we hope to be able to tell more about the life of Bobby Leeds—by way of his letters and other artifacts. If more of Bobby's "Almanac" (his word) is discovered we will certainly publish it.

Next week: a letter.—B.L.

The young think the old helpless. The old think the young helpless. Each is correct.


Be kind to your mate but avoid his family.


Care not for what others think about you for what they think about you
will not be good.


Do not expect that your friend will show the same good taste in the choice of a mate as he has shown in the choice of you as a friend.


Do not expect that your friend will show the same good taste in the choice of other friends as was shown in choosing you.


Be kind to your mate; she could be your only friend.


Do not smile at babies if their young parents are observing you;
it encourages procreation.


The drivers of small cars use their directional signals when turning; the drivers of luxury cars do not.


The display of luxury is a display of goodness.


At a gas station, never ask the driver of a Bentley about the kind of mileage he gets if you are standing next to your 2002 Prius.


Poverty is a sign of laziness.


Poverty is a sign of bad taste


Do not expect your rich and famous friends to call you personally; they are much too busy.


Be gracious when you are called by the personal assistant of a rich and famous friend. Try not to be angry; it’s not her fault.



Poverty is a sign of stupidity.


Wealth is a sign of great intellect.


And goodness.


If you are poor never do a job for a rich friend; you will hate yourself.


If you are rich never hire a poor friend to do a job; you will cause him to hate himself.


Avoid those who claim to be spiritual and make a show of it.


Particularly men.


They are angry. They think about dragging you behind a horse until you die as they speak of Deepak Chopra or the Dalai Lama.


You can never be too rich or too Zen.


Friendships end; it is their nature. Don’t be sad.


11 January 2008

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