Veritas  Any Day Now
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We peruse all the goddamn catalogs we get and scan those ads we find most alarming, excessive, polluting or stupid. Most of these catalogs sell junque—that's junk with cachet. These ads are real; maybe they don't seem real but they are.

This thing, this Pet's Observation Porthole is, yes, from Hammacher-Schlemmer, their Spring Supplement 2008.

And I'm not going to say anything more about it.

Well, OK, I will say this. As I've explained on these pages before I'm not that interested in going on vacation or even going outside anymore. I enjoy staying inside my home—reading, talking to Catherine, drinking cheap red wine.

But I do like to look outside, see what's going on. And I would like to have a deeper perspective than a flat window affords. I just wonder if this thing could be modified so that it would fit my large head.

I mean that if I had this thing and could get away with cutting a hole in one of my apartment's outside walls, I would never leave home. Just stay inside and press my old cold nose to the plastic bubble whenever I wanted to see what was happening out there.

Hammacher-Schlemmer. The landfill's best friend. Mine, too.


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